For the non-religious, another version of the quote in the title is:
"Trust is desiring an outcome while giving up control of the process."
As I noted in some other postings, I hit a fairly prolonged period of worry, stress and anxiety recently. All of the worry, stress and anxiety added up to restlessness, worried thoughts and plenty of sleepless nights. Fortunately, I've had plenty of support as I worked through this period. It certainly hasn't been easy by any means and I think I still have a few things to work out.
The one thing I realized that stressed me out was my over worry about a situation and trying to control as many aspects of the situation as I could. I think most people can relate to this. When you are worried about something, it's because you feel you don't quite have control over every aspect of the potential outcome.
Coming from a sports background, I think the best example would be a coach worrying about how his particular team will do during a game. The coach can have his own team practice and prepare for the next game perfectly. Yet, the coach can't control how each player will actually perform during the game. The coach can't control how the OTHER team will perform during the game. That is why in sports, even so called "bad teams" win games too. Teams with chemistry and talent will prevail the majority of the time over weaker teams. However, even good teams have bad nights and weaker teams have good nights. It is a fact of life.
Alas, even though I understand that from a sport perspective, it's been difficult to accept on the particular situation I've been dealing with. Yet as I as struggled with my stress and trying to come to terms with things, I realized I had to do something about it. I ultimately decided to put some faith (or trust if you must) into God. I realized life is too precious too continually worry about future outcomes where there is so much to do TODAY.
I will say that trust and/or faith in life is not easy to come by sometime. About 14 years ago, while I was in college, I enrolled in a class that was part of a community involvement center program at the school. As part of the program, we went on a weekend retreat to bond together at a camp. One of the lessons taught was to trust and have faith in all of us that worked in the program. The lesson was taught by having people pair off. One person was to leave the second person. The catch was the second person was to have their eyes closed.
I remember I had difficulty keeping my eyes closed. A lot of "What If's" went through my mind. Yet, after the retreat had concluded, the lesson stuck with me. I remember thinking that I finally understood the nature of faith in God. Even though we spend all of waking hours with our eyes open, we are blind to what will happen in the future. You have to trust and have faith that God will not steer you wrong. Alas, it has taken me even more year than that to really understand the impact of it all.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Sleeping Is NOT Overrated
One of the unfortunate side effects of my stress recently is the lack of sleep. For a few years now, I usually made do on about 6 to 6 1/2 hours of sleep on weekdays and more on the weekends. Alas, with the stress around me and my mind all over the place, I had difficult even getting my 6 hours of sleep for the better part of two weeks, even on weekends.
As I've gotten a handle on the stress and settled my mind down a little lately, sleep is slowly getting better though it's inconsistent. Some nights are ok while some nights are not quite so good. In reading something online, I think having my sleep disrupted as it did got me to "worrying" about getting to sleep. If you've ever tried to do anything while feeling pressured, you'll know that it's not easy and sleep is one of these things. Now that I know what has been going on, I need to step back a bit and be more positive about sleeping rather than worrying.
With all of this, I realized sleep is definitely not overrated, especially when you've been disrupted like I have been. Alas, I do think there is an interesting learning lesson here. I've definitely been thrown out of my comfort zone in recent weeks and I've been trying to get back into it. However, I realized that if I ever get married and/or have kids, then life will be all about adjustments, including sleep.
These last few weeks have not been easy by any means. I can't even say I have enjoyed the experience as I have gone through it. Yet, if I step back a little, the experience is a necessary for me to move on to the next stage of my life.
As I've gotten a handle on the stress and settled my mind down a little lately, sleep is slowly getting better though it's inconsistent. Some nights are ok while some nights are not quite so good. In reading something online, I think having my sleep disrupted as it did got me to "worrying" about getting to sleep. If you've ever tried to do anything while feeling pressured, you'll know that it's not easy and sleep is one of these things. Now that I know what has been going on, I need to step back a bit and be more positive about sleeping rather than worrying.
With all of this, I realized sleep is definitely not overrated, especially when you've been disrupted like I have been. Alas, I do think there is an interesting learning lesson here. I've definitely been thrown out of my comfort zone in recent weeks and I've been trying to get back into it. However, I realized that if I ever get married and/or have kids, then life will be all about adjustments, including sleep.
These last few weeks have not been easy by any means. I can't even say I have enjoyed the experience as I have gone through it. Yet, if I step back a little, the experience is a necessary for me to move on to the next stage of my life.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
I Don't Wanna Grow Up, I'm a Toys R Us Kid......but eventually you have to......
For those of us who grew up in the 1980's, there are plenty of commercial and other catch phrases that we remember:
Wendy's - "Where's The Beef?"
McDonald's - "You Deserve a Break Today"
Grey Poupon Mustard - "Pardon Me, Would You Have Any Grey Poupon?"
Nike - "Just Do It"
Toys R Us - "I Don't Wanna Grow Up, I'm a Toys R Us Kid......."
In the past few weeks, I ran into some personal struggles. In thinking about those struggles, the first thing that came to my mind was that I was a "Toys R Us Kid". Read on to see why......
Some of my struggles may have been indirectly due to the following things happening all within the span of a few weeks in April:
Job Lay Off / Pondering the future for jobs / school
Traffic Ticket
Owed IRS Taxes
But most importantly, I believe the one that had the greatest impact on me was when my mom got Bell's Palsy. While Bell's Palsy is not a serious thing (fortunately), my mom was scared and I think it scared me too. For the first time, I realized that my parents will not always be there. I think that affected me more than I realized and unintentionally caused myself some undue stress as I pondered an uncertain future.
My recent struggles has woken me up to how much of a comfortable and even maybe sheltered life I have lived. For all intensive purposes, I have almost been living the "Toys R Us Kid" lifestyle. I go to work, go have fun and come home with parents around to take care of everything at home.
My recent stress had come with the realization that this lifestyle will not always be there and that eventually I will have to grow up. In many ways, this is an uncomfortable feeling. It is very difficult to change how you've lived for so many years.
Fortunately for me, I've had plenty of support as I go through this and it has been suggested that I draw up some daily, short term and long term plans for my future. I have put together a short list with some immediate things I want to do. I've begun some of these things and begin the self improvement plan that will eventually change me from a "kid" (figuratively) into a more "mature adult".
As I write this, there is a some sadness in me. I think it's because it feels like a graduation of sorts. When we've graduated at every level of school, there is happiness at the accomplishment. However, there is also sadness as you leave behind the school, friends and other memories of your years. I am sad because I've enjoyed my life for many years and it's tough to change. Yet, it is a necessary change that will lead to bigger and better things.
This is definitely an unusual blog post for me but I appreciate people reading. In many ways, it is a way to let out a bit of the struggles I have been facing in recent weeks.
Wendy's - "Where's The Beef?"
McDonald's - "You Deserve a Break Today"
Grey Poupon Mustard - "Pardon Me, Would You Have Any Grey Poupon?"
Nike - "Just Do It"
Toys R Us - "I Don't Wanna Grow Up, I'm a Toys R Us Kid......."
In the past few weeks, I ran into some personal struggles. In thinking about those struggles, the first thing that came to my mind was that I was a "Toys R Us Kid". Read on to see why......
Some of my struggles may have been indirectly due to the following things happening all within the span of a few weeks in April:
Job Lay Off / Pondering the future for jobs / school
Traffic Ticket
Owed IRS Taxes
But most importantly, I believe the one that had the greatest impact on me was when my mom got Bell's Palsy. While Bell's Palsy is not a serious thing (fortunately), my mom was scared and I think it scared me too. For the first time, I realized that my parents will not always be there. I think that affected me more than I realized and unintentionally caused myself some undue stress as I pondered an uncertain future.
My recent struggles has woken me up to how much of a comfortable and even maybe sheltered life I have lived. For all intensive purposes, I have almost been living the "Toys R Us Kid" lifestyle. I go to work, go have fun and come home with parents around to take care of everything at home.
My recent stress had come with the realization that this lifestyle will not always be there and that eventually I will have to grow up. In many ways, this is an uncomfortable feeling. It is very difficult to change how you've lived for so many years.
Fortunately for me, I've had plenty of support as I go through this and it has been suggested that I draw up some daily, short term and long term plans for my future. I have put together a short list with some immediate things I want to do. I've begun some of these things and begin the self improvement plan that will eventually change me from a "kid" (figuratively) into a more "mature adult".
As I write this, there is a some sadness in me. I think it's because it feels like a graduation of sorts. When we've graduated at every level of school, there is happiness at the accomplishment. However, there is also sadness as you leave behind the school, friends and other memories of your years. I am sad because I've enjoyed my life for many years and it's tough to change. Yet, it is a necessary change that will lead to bigger and better things.
This is definitely an unusual blog post for me but I appreciate people reading. In many ways, it is a way to let out a bit of the struggles I have been facing in recent weeks.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Adapting To Change
While I can't speak for everyone, I would guess that just about every human being on the planet Earth is a creature of habit in one way or another. There are dozens of things in our daily lives that we do without thinking. It might range from brushing our teeth or to how we shoot a basketball.
However, there are wide differences to different people in how they adapt to changes in their lives, especially when it affects their daily habits and routines. There changes could be as simple as having to travel to another country or something more involved such as having a new baby in the family. Some people are very adaptable and adjust to changes without missing a beat. Some people are very slow and any changes throw them out of sync.
In thinking about myself recently, I believe I am on the slow end of the scale when it comes to adapting to changes which affect my habits and routines. While I am not 100% sure why I am like this, a part of the answer lies with why people stick to habits and routines.
For some, habits and routines bring a sense of comfort and familiarity during stressful times. With the uncertainty with the economy, jobs and other things in recent years, having something to fall back to is a great benefit to many.
Alas, for the slow changers like me, getting your habits and routines disrupted can be disconcerting. I've had that happen before and trying to get back to a normal routing sometimes can be a challenge. This made me think that I need to open myself more to change and be more adaptable.
How to do that? That is the $64,000 question. If anyone had any answers, let me know!
Tuesday, June 07, 2011
20 Years / Seasons of Basketball
On a nice sunny evening here in the Bay Area, my summer basketball team open it's league season tonight with a victory. Tonight's game signaled a changing of the guard. A good number of my regular friends and teammates for much of the past 6 years / seasons were all absent. The majority of the guys who chose not to play are over 30 years old with family obligation so this was understandable.
In the place of my friends were a stable of young bucks. Tonight we had ten players present with nine out of the ten being under 30 years old. The only person over 30? ME! I originally wasn't going to play as most of my older friends were not playing. However, at the behest of one of my other teammates (whom I've played with since 2007), I decided to assume "player / coach" duties for the team.
I wasn't planning to play too much (if at all) this season and just remain a coach. Alas, the opportunity to squeeze in a few minutes proved too much of a temptation tonight. We were able to get a lead and I felt I could squeeze in a few minutes (about 15 or so) without affecting the outcome of the game too much. Overall, all the young bucks played about 20 to 25 minutes overall which was good. I hadn't seen them play much so it was good to get a feel of the team.
By playing in my team's game tonight, I have officially participated in this particular basketball league for 20 years / seasons. I first played in this league during the Summer of 1992. In total, I have played in 19 seasons with one season where I didn't play at all due to injury. I did not realize this until I got home tonight from the game.
In thinking about my participation in this league, I've seen this league grow and play in many different gyms through the years.
My first season in the league, there were only two divisions ("A - Competitive" and "B - Non Competitive") . The "A" league were primarily men while the "B" league had a mix of men, boys, women and girls. There were around 20 teams total (10 in each league) in 1992. As the league grew in the next 20 years, more men's divisions were added ("A - Platinum, "BB - Gold", "B - Silver", "C- Bronze") along with divisions for women and youths. This season, there is almost 70 total teams.
While the league has grown, it has also played in many different facilities over the years, each with their own quirks and charm.
Salvation Army 1992 to 1994 (SF Chinatown) - The gym was not regulation. The court had decent length but the 3 point line was cut off in the corners. Despite the size of the gym, "A" league games were still played in there. There was plenty of space for fans as well and it made for a great atmosphere for games. I played in my first CCU championship game here in 1994 (we lost).
Francisco Middle School 1992 to 1994 (SF North Beach) - I don't quite know if the court was high school regulation but it was pretty close. It was definitely longer and wider than Salvation Army so real basketball could be played. My best memory from this gym was when one of my then teammates hit a buzzer beating three pointer to win a game for us (45-43).
Cameron House 1994 (SF Chinatown) - Cameron House is a historic place in Chinatown. On the site of Cameron House, there are a couple of basketball courts, one downstairs and another upstairs. So while there is technically a ceiling to the lower basketball court, the court is basically outdoors as there is nothing to seal off the elements (wind / rain / etc). During 1994, the basketball league was forced to move some games to Cameron House. It was an interesting experience as there is a staircase exposed plus the court was slippery.
Washington High School 1995 (SF) - We only played one season at Washington and I don't recall anything super memorable from any of the games. The only challenge in playing at Washington was that the league was playing games side by side on two courts. Whistles from the other court could stop play on the other court.
Star Of The Sea 1995 (SF) - Like Washington, we only played one season here. Nothing particularly memorable except it was good to play on a court that I coached and officiated so many CYO games over the years.
Ben Franklin Middle School 1996 - 2004 (SF) - With two courts, Ben Franklin ably served the summer basketball league for 8 years. As a public middle school, the courts weren't particular well maintained. The courts weren't high school regulation as well but it was better than Salvation Army. I have too many memories over the years to easily share here. I was sad when the summer basketball league was forced to move away from Ben Franklin after the summer of 2004.
El Camino High School 2004 - Present (SSF) - El Camino High is like Ben Franklin with two courts. However, the courts are high school regulation and well maintained. This is easily the best facility the league has had in the years I have played. Again, there are too many memories that I can easily share here.
Lincoln High School 2005 / Holy Trinity Church 2010 - Present (SF) - A couple of other courts that were used that I don't have a lot of experience with. But the courts are regulation and the facilities are very nice.
Overall, the past 20 years / seasons have certainly gone by fast. I certainly did not remember it was my 20th year when I arrived at the gym tonight I don't know what the future holds for me in terms of playing in this particular basketball league. However, I am certainly thankful and grateful to my friends and other teammates that have allowed me to play with them over the years. Win or lose, it has always been fun. Here's to 20 more years!!!!
In the place of my friends were a stable of young bucks. Tonight we had ten players present with nine out of the ten being under 30 years old. The only person over 30? ME! I originally wasn't going to play as most of my older friends were not playing. However, at the behest of one of my other teammates (whom I've played with since 2007), I decided to assume "player / coach" duties for the team.
I wasn't planning to play too much (if at all) this season and just remain a coach. Alas, the opportunity to squeeze in a few minutes proved too much of a temptation tonight. We were able to get a lead and I felt I could squeeze in a few minutes (about 15 or so) without affecting the outcome of the game too much. Overall, all the young bucks played about 20 to 25 minutes overall which was good. I hadn't seen them play much so it was good to get a feel of the team.
By playing in my team's game tonight, I have officially participated in this particular basketball league for 20 years / seasons. I first played in this league during the Summer of 1992. In total, I have played in 19 seasons with one season where I didn't play at all due to injury. I did not realize this until I got home tonight from the game.
In thinking about my participation in this league, I've seen this league grow and play in many different gyms through the years.
My first season in the league, there were only two divisions ("A - Competitive" and "B - Non Competitive") . The "A" league were primarily men while the "B" league had a mix of men, boys, women and girls. There were around 20 teams total (10 in each league) in 1992. As the league grew in the next 20 years, more men's divisions were added ("A - Platinum, "BB - Gold", "B - Silver", "C- Bronze") along with divisions for women and youths. This season, there is almost 70 total teams.
While the league has grown, it has also played in many different facilities over the years, each with their own quirks and charm.
Salvation Army 1992 to 1994 (SF Chinatown) - The gym was not regulation. The court had decent length but the 3 point line was cut off in the corners. Despite the size of the gym, "A" league games were still played in there. There was plenty of space for fans as well and it made for a great atmosphere for games. I played in my first CCU championship game here in 1994 (we lost).
Francisco Middle School 1992 to 1994 (SF North Beach) - I don't quite know if the court was high school regulation but it was pretty close. It was definitely longer and wider than Salvation Army so real basketball could be played. My best memory from this gym was when one of my then teammates hit a buzzer beating three pointer to win a game for us (45-43).
Cameron House 1994 (SF Chinatown) - Cameron House is a historic place in Chinatown. On the site of Cameron House, there are a couple of basketball courts, one downstairs and another upstairs. So while there is technically a ceiling to the lower basketball court, the court is basically outdoors as there is nothing to seal off the elements (wind / rain / etc). During 1994, the basketball league was forced to move some games to Cameron House. It was an interesting experience as there is a staircase exposed plus the court was slippery.
Washington High School 1995 (SF) - We only played one season at Washington and I don't recall anything super memorable from any of the games. The only challenge in playing at Washington was that the league was playing games side by side on two courts. Whistles from the other court could stop play on the other court.
Star Of The Sea 1995 (SF) - Like Washington, we only played one season here. Nothing particularly memorable except it was good to play on a court that I coached and officiated so many CYO games over the years.
Ben Franklin Middle School 1996 - 2004 (SF) - With two courts, Ben Franklin ably served the summer basketball league for 8 years. As a public middle school, the courts weren't particular well maintained. The courts weren't high school regulation as well but it was better than Salvation Army. I have too many memories over the years to easily share here. I was sad when the summer basketball league was forced to move away from Ben Franklin after the summer of 2004.
El Camino High School 2004 - Present (SSF) - El Camino High is like Ben Franklin with two courts. However, the courts are high school regulation and well maintained. This is easily the best facility the league has had in the years I have played. Again, there are too many memories that I can easily share here.
Lincoln High School 2005 / Holy Trinity Church 2010 - Present (SF) - A couple of other courts that were used that I don't have a lot of experience with. But the courts are regulation and the facilities are very nice.
Overall, the past 20 years / seasons have certainly gone by fast. I certainly did not remember it was my 20th year when I arrived at the gym tonight I don't know what the future holds for me in terms of playing in this particular basketball league. However, I am certainly thankful and grateful to my friends and other teammates that have allowed me to play with them over the years. Win or lose, it has always been fun. Here's to 20 more years!!!!
Thursday, June 02, 2011
Appreciating My Friends
I won't elaborate too much right now but I had a rough week last week. A few of my friends know what happened to me but I don't feel ready to share with the public quite yet. I'm still trying to figure things out on my end as well.
However, I do feel I owe a shout out to a few of my friends who know they are. These friends listened me to talk about my issue, offered suggestions and were there for me when I needed reassurance.
However, I do feel I owe a shout out to a few of my friends who know they are. These friends listened me to talk about my issue, offered suggestions and were there for me when I needed reassurance.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Reflections on St. Mary's Class of 2003 (and college Class of 2011 & beyond)
In 1998, I embarked on a new journey. For the first time in my youth basketball coaching career, I was working with a 3rd grade girls basketball team. Prior to this, I had worked with boys and girls from 6th to 8th grade. Coaching a 3rd grade team was both an exciting challenge and a daunting challenge as well. Exciting in the sense that I got to mold the kids skills when they were young. Challenging in that I didn't feel I had all the necessary experience to work with the younger kids.
Well, I did the best I could for three seasons (1998 to 2000) and compiled a 21-13 overall record including spending the 1999 and 2000 seasons competing in the top division of the basketball league we were playing in. As the 2000 season completed, I stepped down from coaching as I had spent over 12 years as a volunteer coach with 7 different teams (boys/girls) in both assistant and head coaching capacities. The team also broke apart as several of the kids left St. Mary's for other schools. Another coach took over the next season as my former team merged with the kids from the upper grades for two seasons (plus their 8th grade season as an individual team again) and led them to several deserved championship runs.
My most enduring memory with this particular team is back during their first season in 1998. The team compiled an 8-0 league record but unfortunately another team had also finished 8-0. Instead of the usual 9 teams, there were ten teams and the schedule did not have my team play the other team. With both teams tied, we had to play a tiebreaker which my team lost 14-9. That send the other team to the championship game while my team was dropped into second place and awaited the winner of the 3rd/4th place playoff winner.
Even though my team was the second seed, we traveled to the opposing team's gym and engaged in a classic battle. With my team up 10-8 in the closing seconds, the other team banked home a shot at the buzzer to send the game into overtime. My team battled hard in overtime but ultimately lost a 13-12 heartbreaker to end our season.
Why would a loss be an enduring memory? The reason is that my team was always resilient and it showed in the next two seasons. We played against the best teams the league had to offer and we competed well. Some of the other teams in the league had players that ultimately played varsity for some Catholic high schools out here and I believe one even played college basketball.
This reflection comes as I noticed on Facebook that a few of the nine players that played under me are GRADUATING from college in the coming weeks. CONGRATULATIONS to all of the ones who are graduating this year. For the others who may graduating later on or even on different track from school, best of luck!
Well, I did the best I could for three seasons (1998 to 2000) and compiled a 21-13 overall record including spending the 1999 and 2000 seasons competing in the top division of the basketball league we were playing in. As the 2000 season completed, I stepped down from coaching as I had spent over 12 years as a volunteer coach with 7 different teams (boys/girls) in both assistant and head coaching capacities. The team also broke apart as several of the kids left St. Mary's for other schools. Another coach took over the next season as my former team merged with the kids from the upper grades for two seasons (plus their 8th grade season as an individual team again) and led them to several deserved championship runs.
My most enduring memory with this particular team is back during their first season in 1998. The team compiled an 8-0 league record but unfortunately another team had also finished 8-0. Instead of the usual 9 teams, there were ten teams and the schedule did not have my team play the other team. With both teams tied, we had to play a tiebreaker which my team lost 14-9. That send the other team to the championship game while my team was dropped into second place and awaited the winner of the 3rd/4th place playoff winner.
Even though my team was the second seed, we traveled to the opposing team's gym and engaged in a classic battle. With my team up 10-8 in the closing seconds, the other team banked home a shot at the buzzer to send the game into overtime. My team battled hard in overtime but ultimately lost a 13-12 heartbreaker to end our season.
Why would a loss be an enduring memory? The reason is that my team was always resilient and it showed in the next two seasons. We played against the best teams the league had to offer and we competed well. Some of the other teams in the league had players that ultimately played varsity for some Catholic high schools out here and I believe one even played college basketball.
This reflection comes as I noticed on Facebook that a few of the nine players that played under me are GRADUATING from college in the coming weeks. CONGRATULATIONS to all of the ones who are graduating this year. For the others who may graduating later on or even on different track from school, best of luck!
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Your Perception Is Not My Reality And Vice Versa (Personal Edition)
In the last few days, a double murder and suicide at San Jose State University (SJSU) has attracted a lot of comments and speculation. Read the articles below for more information on the situation:
San Jose State killings blamed on domestic dispute
SJSU students killed in shooting to get posthumous diplomas
The comments and speculation surrounded on two items:
1.
Why a 54 year old man and a 25 year old woman be married? Love? Money? Green Card?
2.
Was the 25 year old woman and the 26 year old friend that were killed having an affair or were they just friends? They were both married though the man had separated from his wife (at least for a time).
I'm not going to comment directly on either of the questions because I don't have the answers. I'll leave that to the police / investigators to figure out. However, what I can say is this case teaches us that "Perception vs. Reality" in friendships / relationships is an important thing to consider.
For me, it is perfectly normal to just be friends with people of the opposite sex. I have plenty of friends of the female persuasion both single, attached and married (don't think I know any divorced female friends). While having friends of the opposite sex is a good thing in my mind, I've learned that things change when they are attached and especially when they are married.
The main thing is that my female friend's significant other's take priority. I don't take it personally because every other friend is probably treated the same way. However, with me being a GUY, there is additional significance that I didn't think about in my younger days.
In MY REALITY (and all of my female friends realities), there is NOTHING going on between us. That stuff we can control. What we can't control? The PERCEPTION of their significant others. Therefore, when associating with your attached/married female friends, you have to tread carefully and not give any wrong ideas that something is going on. There is no one right way to proceed as every couple of different. My female friends let me know where the lines / boundaries are and I don't ever get close to crossing them! The good news is that I know the husbands pretty well and that helps me out!
This "Perception vs Reality" issue could have been one of the things (among many others) at play here in the SJSU situation. The husband's perception was of infidelity and affair. The two young people indeed may have been just friends. However, their actions (being in a car together at 8:30 PM in the evening) may not have portrayed reality and that caused the husband to lose his mind.
The husband definitely should not have done what he did. It is unfortunate what has happened and that has caused the loss of three lives. Best wishes to the families involved in this time of grief.
San Jose State killings blamed on domestic dispute
SJSU students killed in shooting to get posthumous diplomas
The comments and speculation surrounded on two items:
1.
Why a 54 year old man and a 25 year old woman be married? Love? Money? Green Card?
2.
Was the 25 year old woman and the 26 year old friend that were killed having an affair or were they just friends? They were both married though the man had separated from his wife (at least for a time).
I'm not going to comment directly on either of the questions because I don't have the answers. I'll leave that to the police / investigators to figure out. However, what I can say is this case teaches us that "Perception vs. Reality" in friendships / relationships is an important thing to consider.
For me, it is perfectly normal to just be friends with people of the opposite sex. I have plenty of friends of the female persuasion both single, attached and married (don't think I know any divorced female friends). While having friends of the opposite sex is a good thing in my mind, I've learned that things change when they are attached and especially when they are married.
The main thing is that my female friend's significant other's take priority. I don't take it personally because every other friend is probably treated the same way. However, with me being a GUY, there is additional significance that I didn't think about in my younger days.
In MY REALITY (and all of my female friends realities), there is NOTHING going on between us. That stuff we can control. What we can't control? The PERCEPTION of their significant others. Therefore, when associating with your attached/married female friends, you have to tread carefully and not give any wrong ideas that something is going on. There is no one right way to proceed as every couple of different. My female friends let me know where the lines / boundaries are and I don't ever get close to crossing them! The good news is that I know the husbands pretty well and that helps me out!
This "Perception vs Reality" issue could have been one of the things (among many others) at play here in the SJSU situation. The husband's perception was of infidelity and affair. The two young people indeed may have been just friends. However, their actions (being in a car together at 8:30 PM in the evening) may not have portrayed reality and that caused the husband to lose his mind.
The husband definitely should not have done what he did. It is unfortunate what has happened and that has caused the loss of three lives. Best wishes to the families involved in this time of grief.
Saturday, May 07, 2011
I Am Not Young Anymore..........
As much as I like to think I am young, the fact is age is slowly creeping up on me. The reason I say that is that my knees are screaming out at the punishment I put it through today:
1. Officiated three basketball games from 9 AM until 12:30 PM
2. Played pick up basketball with friends from 2 PM until 5 PM
In fact, this past Spring, I have put my body through some punishment:
1.
Officiated a JV basketball game at 4:30 PM, played an adult league basketball game at 8 PM at one gym, and played another game at 10 PM at another gym.
2.
Played in TWO tournaments this past Spring plus played in a Monday night league. That equated to playing FOUR games in 3 Days after the first tournament and playing FIVE games in 3 days after the second tournament.
I used to officiate and play basketball afterwards on Saturday frequently but I don't do it as much anymore. My legs have trouble taking the punishment and eventually I'll have to figure out what I'm going to do in the future.
For now, I'll ice down my knees and get some rest. :)
1. Officiated three basketball games from 9 AM until 12:30 PM
2. Played pick up basketball with friends from 2 PM until 5 PM
In fact, this past Spring, I have put my body through some punishment:
1.
Officiated a JV basketball game at 4:30 PM, played an adult league basketball game at 8 PM at one gym, and played another game at 10 PM at another gym.
2.
Played in TWO tournaments this past Spring plus played in a Monday night league. That equated to playing FOUR games in 3 Days after the first tournament and playing FIVE games in 3 days after the second tournament.
I used to officiate and play basketball afterwards on Saturday frequently but I don't do it as much anymore. My legs have trouble taking the punishment and eventually I'll have to figure out what I'm going to do in the future.
For now, I'll ice down my knees and get some rest. :)
Thursday, May 05, 2011
Enjoying The Simple Things.....
Today was a great day and not because of anything super special I did. Firstly, I met up an old friend for lunch and we caught up on our happenings over the past couple of months. My friend had been busy with work and went on vacation while I had been busy with my various things so we hadn't talked on the phone or met in person in a while. It didn't really bother me as my friend will always reach out to me when time permits and it was just a matter of time we met up again.
After lunch, I had to go home to take care of some personal business for a short while. After that, I left my car at home and took a walk around my neighborhood. I had planned to take a walk to the shopping center (2 miles away) but thought it might be too much effort to hit the mall. Instead, I took a pit stop at a local strip mall. There were some chairs so I sat down and just enjoyed the sun and the small breeze.
After a little while, I walked back home and got a call from another friend. I chatted with my friend for a while before having dinner.
While I didn't really do anything particularly special, I loved catching up with my friends and having some solo time to myself. :)
After lunch, I had to go home to take care of some personal business for a short while. After that, I left my car at home and took a walk around my neighborhood. I had planned to take a walk to the shopping center (2 miles away) but thought it might be too much effort to hit the mall. Instead, I took a pit stop at a local strip mall. There were some chairs so I sat down and just enjoyed the sun and the small breeze.
After a little while, I walked back home and got a call from another friend. I chatted with my friend for a while before having dinner.
While I didn't really do anything particularly special, I loved catching up with my friends and having some solo time to myself. :)
Sunday, May 01, 2011
Some Days You WIll Never Forget / Osama Bin Laded Killed
There are some days in your life you never forget. For me, a couple of days stand out:
October 17th, 1989 - The Day of the Loma Prieta Earthquake in the San Francisco Bay Area. I was at the Polo Fields at Golden Gate Park in SF for a cross country meet when the earthquake struck at 5:04 PM. Not being close to buildings, I wasn't aware at how large the earthquake was until my team and I left the park and saw the power out. It took me several hours to get home due to buses getting delayed with power all over the City.
September 11th, 2001 - This day began as any other day for me. I was up at about 4:30 AM and got on a commuter train to go to work at 5 AM or so. I spent an hour on the train and another 30 to 45 minutes on a shuttle to get to my office. Obviously, as I was commuting to work, the 9/11 terrorist attacks in New York had started but I had no idea.
I arrived at the office to a co-worker telling me that a plane had hit the Twin Towers in New York. My co-worker thought it was a small plane. As I tried to get onto CNN's website to see what was going on, I COULD NOT. I tried a few other news sites and had the same problem. Obviously something major had happened. It would be a few hours later when the news finally broke. My co-workers and I spent most of the day in disbelief.
May 1st, 2011 - Let's add May 1st, 2011 to the list of days you never forget. On this day, President Barack Obama announced that Osama Bin Laden (leader of Al Queda and person who plotted 9/11 attacks) was killed in a US Military operation. I'll save the whole political discussion about this news for a later time, but it definitely is a historic day.
October 17th, 1989 - The Day of the Loma Prieta Earthquake in the San Francisco Bay Area. I was at the Polo Fields at Golden Gate Park in SF for a cross country meet when the earthquake struck at 5:04 PM. Not being close to buildings, I wasn't aware at how large the earthquake was until my team and I left the park and saw the power out. It took me several hours to get home due to buses getting delayed with power all over the City.
September 11th, 2001 - This day began as any other day for me. I was up at about 4:30 AM and got on a commuter train to go to work at 5 AM or so. I spent an hour on the train and another 30 to 45 minutes on a shuttle to get to my office. Obviously, as I was commuting to work, the 9/11 terrorist attacks in New York had started but I had no idea.
I arrived at the office to a co-worker telling me that a plane had hit the Twin Towers in New York. My co-worker thought it was a small plane. As I tried to get onto CNN's website to see what was going on, I COULD NOT. I tried a few other news sites and had the same problem. Obviously something major had happened. It would be a few hours later when the news finally broke. My co-workers and I spent most of the day in disbelief.
May 1st, 2011 - Let's add May 1st, 2011 to the list of days you never forget. On this day, President Barack Obama announced that Osama Bin Laden (leader of Al Queda and person who plotted 9/11 attacks) was killed in a US Military operation. I'll save the whole political discussion about this news for a later time, but it definitely is a historic day.
The Introverted Extrovert
Recently, I received an email from an author. The author had written a couple of books that I had read. The subject was interesting enough that I took a class from the author about a year or so ago and he keeps in touch every now and then with folks who have taken his class.
In reading the author's email, I stumbled upon an interesting article published in the Boston Globe:
The Power Of Lonely (may require registration to read the article)
In this article, the author surmises that certain tasks and though processes are better done ALONE than other people around. In fact, the article suggests that the most developed personalities and leaders are the people who devote the appropriate time to taking some solitude for themselves.
How this applies to myself? I was a pretty shy and introverted kid during my early school years though I improved as I went through high school and college. It wasn't that I didn't talk to anyone. It's just that I talked to people I felt comfortable with but I didn't particularly branch out much. Especially during my years leading into high school, I didn't have a lot of hang out friends.
Thanks to an old friend from high school, I broke the mold and she became one of my early friends that I hung out with and talked to a lot (though that friendship has since faded into the sunset). It was from this friend that I met some people that are still my friends today. With a few of the friends, we don't hang out as much as we used to because they have families and other things to concern themselves with.
The thing that has changed is that I am now much more of an extrovert. I find myself curious about everyone I meet and I could hold a conversation on just about anything if given a chance. So while some of my older friends are busy, I have simply branched out to other folks and life goes on. The best example was during my birthday a few weeks ago. I was out with no less than three groups of friends (with some friends crossing over into more than one group).
I've got a reputation among some friends that I like to talk a lot. It's a reputation that I've earned because in the past I have spent a ton of time with my friends on the phone (and still do with some people). But as I have gotten older, I don't feel I need to talk to my friends as much.
I also need that ALONE TIME that is mentioned in the article above. With this alone time, I do a great many things. I read, I mediate, I write/blog, I take photos or just do whatever comes to mind. I think this may surprise people for my reputation among my more recent friends is being a talker, basketball / sports person and or just a very socially active person. All of this is true to a certain extent.
However, I am easily comfortable with being alone and going off to do whatever I want to do myself. It's been a while since I've done so but I have seen movies alone previously. Since I am currently unemployed, I may hit up some movies that have come out recently.
Everyone should take some away time for themselves. I understand this more than I did when I was younger. It's very beneficial and something you should work into your life schedule.
In reading the author's email, I stumbled upon an interesting article published in the Boston Globe:
The Power Of Lonely (may require registration to read the article)
In this article, the author surmises that certain tasks and though processes are better done ALONE than other people around. In fact, the article suggests that the most developed personalities and leaders are the people who devote the appropriate time to taking some solitude for themselves.
How this applies to myself? I was a pretty shy and introverted kid during my early school years though I improved as I went through high school and college. It wasn't that I didn't talk to anyone. It's just that I talked to people I felt comfortable with but I didn't particularly branch out much. Especially during my years leading into high school, I didn't have a lot of hang out friends.
Thanks to an old friend from high school, I broke the mold and she became one of my early friends that I hung out with and talked to a lot (though that friendship has since faded into the sunset). It was from this friend that I met some people that are still my friends today. With a few of the friends, we don't hang out as much as we used to because they have families and other things to concern themselves with.
The thing that has changed is that I am now much more of an extrovert. I find myself curious about everyone I meet and I could hold a conversation on just about anything if given a chance. So while some of my older friends are busy, I have simply branched out to other folks and life goes on. The best example was during my birthday a few weeks ago. I was out with no less than three groups of friends (with some friends crossing over into more than one group).
I've got a reputation among some friends that I like to talk a lot. It's a reputation that I've earned because in the past I have spent a ton of time with my friends on the phone (and still do with some people). But as I have gotten older, I don't feel I need to talk to my friends as much.
I also need that ALONE TIME that is mentioned in the article above. With this alone time, I do a great many things. I read, I mediate, I write/blog, I take photos or just do whatever comes to mind. I think this may surprise people for my reputation among my more recent friends is being a talker, basketball / sports person and or just a very socially active person. All of this is true to a certain extent.
However, I am easily comfortable with being alone and going off to do whatever I want to do myself. It's been a while since I've done so but I have seen movies alone previously. Since I am currently unemployed, I may hit up some movies that have come out recently.
Everyone should take some away time for themselves. I understand this more than I did when I was younger. It's very beneficial and something you should work into your life schedule.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Bell's Palsy / Watching Over Our Parents
About two weeks ago, I was home and my mom complained to me that her face was a little distorted and that she was having trouble swallowing food and spitting things out of mouth. Upon taking a look at her, my mom's face was indeed a little "distorted". But beyond those symptoms, she seemed to be fine. She was walking, talking and otherwise moving around without any problems. Alas, she had told me relatively late in the day so it was too late to call the doctor to schedule an appointment. My mom didn't think it was serious so she initially wanted to just rest and let things heal on it's own.
On other hand, while she seemed OK, I insisted she call and schedule an appointment with her doctor the next day. During the evening, I did some research online and discovered something called Bell's Palsy. Bell's Palsy is inflammation of some facial nerves which cause partial paralysis on one side of the face. That is why my mom's face looked a little distorted because the facial muscles were locked into place. There is no direct correlation with Bell's Palsy and getting a stroke. The good news is that the majority of the paralysis eventually goes away over time though some medication is involved.
At the doctor's office the next day, it was confirmed that my mom had gotten Bell's Palsy (which could occur for many reasons) and not a stroke. In thinking about things, it was silly to not have my mom checked up earlier though.
Unfortunately, as all our parents age, we have to keep an eye on them for sometimes they don't know what is going on. While my mom seems OK now, I am keeping a close eye on her just in case. It's good that I am unemployed and have time to be at home.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Appreciate Every Moment, For It Will Never Come Again......
Last night, in my Monday Night Open Division spring basketball league, my team (Red) defeated our opponents (White) 64-48 to advance to the league championship game next week. My team led the game from beginning to end and there was not a lot of drama. It was a stark contrast to the Fall season, when my team (who was also Red) had to rally from a 10 point deficit to win and make it to the championship game.
Having made it to the championship and winning it last season, I didn't put any particular importance to my team's win last night. However, one of my teammates and I were talking afterward and he pointed out that he would now be playing in his fourth consecutive championship game in the league. I thought that was interesting and it got me to remember that I myself would be playing in my THIRD consecutive championship game in the league as well (all on the same team as the guy I was talking to). That made me appreciate our win last night a lot more!
The other interesting thing I did yesterday was to hang out with my friend. We didn't do anything super noteworthy. We had lunch, talked and collected points that got us some rewards. I should mention I used those rewards to buy something today! While my friend and I didn't do anything crazy, it was definitely a unique experience that I appreciated a lot.
The point in all of this? Even in moments of life that you don't necessarily think is important, they are all unique and should be appreciated. For someone who didn't win my first championship in this particular league until last fall, it surprises me that I am now playing in my third consecutive championship game.
If I were to somehow were to repeat playing in three consecutive basketball league championship games again in the future, it would be under different circumstances and an entirely new experience.
Remember to appreciate every moment (good or bad) in life for once it passes, you'll never get a chance to experience it exactly the same again!
Having made it to the championship and winning it last season, I didn't put any particular importance to my team's win last night. However, one of my teammates and I were talking afterward and he pointed out that he would now be playing in his fourth consecutive championship game in the league. I thought that was interesting and it got me to remember that I myself would be playing in my THIRD consecutive championship game in the league as well (all on the same team as the guy I was talking to). That made me appreciate our win last night a lot more!
The other interesting thing I did yesterday was to hang out with my friend. We didn't do anything super noteworthy. We had lunch, talked and collected points that got us some rewards. I should mention I used those rewards to buy something today! While my friend and I didn't do anything crazy, it was definitely a unique experience that I appreciated a lot.
The point in all of this? Even in moments of life that you don't necessarily think is important, they are all unique and should be appreciated. For someone who didn't win my first championship in this particular league until last fall, it surprises me that I am now playing in my third consecutive championship game.
If I were to somehow were to repeat playing in three consecutive basketball league championship games again in the future, it would be under different circumstances and an entirely new experience.
Remember to appreciate every moment (good or bad) in life for once it passes, you'll never get a chance to experience it exactly the same again!
Saturday, April 23, 2011
I Love Vegetables!!
It's a bit of an odd topic tonight but I can be pretty random sometimes! In thinking of my diet these days, I can't imagine NOT eating vegetables. I eat bok choy, cabbage, broccoli, brussels sprouts, peas, corn and just about any vegetable out there. There is one minor exception. I've never been a fan of eggplant.
In thinking about my life, I don't if I always had vegetables. In my younger days, my mom usually cooked vegetables at home but I didn't make a point to eat vegetables outside of home. In fact, when I was grammar and middle school, I eat a LOT of McDonald's fast food for lunch.
When I got to high school, I started to learn a little more about a healthy diet. Because I ran cross country (and was a fencer), our coach encouraged us to get more carbohydrates. That's when I started eating a ton of pasta. In fact, since my layoff, my default lunch at home is usually a bowl of pasta.
In recent years, as I got older, I realized eating healthy was important. I'll still get some occasional fast food but for the most part, I try to get vegetables in my diet as much as possible. If I brought in lunch to work, I'd make sure there would be some vegetables (left overs or frozen). If I went out to buy lunch, I'd usually pick meals with some sort of vegetable present even if it was fast food.
When eating dinner at home, my mom still makes a ton of vegetables which I gladly consume. The funny thing is that I am not really a salad person. I'll eat one every now and then (Fresh Choice is good) but I don't out of my way to eat a salad.
While American culture is typically a meat and potatoes one (and I let meat and potatoes), vegetables are also an important part. If you don't eat vegetables frequently, you should try. They are quite good for you!
In thinking about my life, I don't if I always had vegetables. In my younger days, my mom usually cooked vegetables at home but I didn't make a point to eat vegetables outside of home. In fact, when I was grammar and middle school, I eat a LOT of McDonald's fast food for lunch.
When I got to high school, I started to learn a little more about a healthy diet. Because I ran cross country (and was a fencer), our coach encouraged us to get more carbohydrates. That's when I started eating a ton of pasta. In fact, since my layoff, my default lunch at home is usually a bowl of pasta.
In recent years, as I got older, I realized eating healthy was important. I'll still get some occasional fast food but for the most part, I try to get vegetables in my diet as much as possible. If I brought in lunch to work, I'd make sure there would be some vegetables (left overs or frozen). If I went out to buy lunch, I'd usually pick meals with some sort of vegetable present even if it was fast food.
When eating dinner at home, my mom still makes a ton of vegetables which I gladly consume. The funny thing is that I am not really a salad person. I'll eat one every now and then (Fresh Choice is good) but I don't out of my way to eat a salad.
While American culture is typically a meat and potatoes one (and I let meat and potatoes), vegetables are also an important part. If you don't eat vegetables frequently, you should try. They are quite good for you!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
2.99 GPA And Some Old College Memories.........
It's been a couple of weeks since my layoff and all is good in my world. There's been a few job leads but I am not overly concerned about how they turn out. I've taken my time to finish up my final paperwork to complete my departure from my company, clean up the house a bit and just relax a bit.
One other thing I've been doing is researching information on graduate school. There's one program that I had looked at during my last layoff back in April 2009. However, when I got rehired at my old job in September of 2009, I didn't look at the graduate school program again. With the layoff hitting me again though, I am seriously looking at graduate school again.
In doing my research yesterday, I found out that the graduate program I was considering requires a 3.0 GPA. That was a bit of a downer as I knew my overall GPA from college was around 2.86. In digging a little further, I found out that the graduate program was just looking at my last 60 semester units. That made feel a little better as I had done better in the last couple of years before I graduate than my earlier years.
I had pull up my old transcripts from college and upon doing the math, my overall GPA from my last 62 units was.........2.99! That was pretty frustrating and got me to think "What if I had done better in this one class or another class?" Alas, those thoughts didn't stick around long as there's nothing I can do about it now.
However, in reviewing my old college transcript, it did bring up an old memory I hadn't thought about in a while (and it could have made a difference in my last 62 unit GPA). There was a class that I had received a grade of C in that I should have gotten at least a B instead.
What had happened was the lecturer graded the class on a curve. Usually, when a class is graded on a curve, it's to help the students on the lower end of the grading scale to pass. I think most of my fellow classmates thought the same. However, when the final grades were distributed after our final, I was given a C grade despite scoring 85% (or somewhere around there) in the class. Basically, our lecturer had went on a curve and RAISED the standards since the class was not terribly difficult.
I wasn't the only one who got stuck with a C in the 85% range. A bunch of classmates tried to complain but it didn't get us anywhere as the lecturer had warned us upfront he was grading on a curve. Who would have though that class could have implications over 13 years later?
All complaining aside though, with a 2.99 GPA, it looks like I will have to take a class, get an A, and get my GPA about 3.0 to apply for the graduate program I was looking at. While this is a little frustrating, it is also a benefit. I haven't been in school in a while so taking a class to boost my GPA will also get me back into school mode.
One other thing I've been doing is researching information on graduate school. There's one program that I had looked at during my last layoff back in April 2009. However, when I got rehired at my old job in September of 2009, I didn't look at the graduate school program again. With the layoff hitting me again though, I am seriously looking at graduate school again.
In doing my research yesterday, I found out that the graduate program I was considering requires a 3.0 GPA. That was a bit of a downer as I knew my overall GPA from college was around 2.86. In digging a little further, I found out that the graduate program was just looking at my last 60 semester units. That made feel a little better as I had done better in the last couple of years before I graduate than my earlier years.
I had pull up my old transcripts from college and upon doing the math, my overall GPA from my last 62 units was.........2.99! That was pretty frustrating and got me to think "What if I had done better in this one class or another class?" Alas, those thoughts didn't stick around long as there's nothing I can do about it now.
However, in reviewing my old college transcript, it did bring up an old memory I hadn't thought about in a while (and it could have made a difference in my last 62 unit GPA). There was a class that I had received a grade of C in that I should have gotten at least a B instead.
What had happened was the lecturer graded the class on a curve. Usually, when a class is graded on a curve, it's to help the students on the lower end of the grading scale to pass. I think most of my fellow classmates thought the same. However, when the final grades were distributed after our final, I was given a C grade despite scoring 85% (or somewhere around there) in the class. Basically, our lecturer had went on a curve and RAISED the standards since the class was not terribly difficult.
I wasn't the only one who got stuck with a C in the 85% range. A bunch of classmates tried to complain but it didn't get us anywhere as the lecturer had warned us upfront he was grading on a curve. Who would have though that class could have implications over 13 years later?
All complaining aside though, with a 2.99 GPA, it looks like I will have to take a class, get an A, and get my GPA about 3.0 to apply for the graduate program I was looking at. While this is a little frustrating, it is also a benefit. I haven't been in school in a while so taking a class to boost my GPA will also get me back into school mode.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Opening Up To Different Perspectives.......
From my youth through my high school days, I didn't really have a lot of close friends. I had some buddies I hung out with but not being with the popular crowd, I didn't really have someone I talked to consistently about "life issues".
Toward the end of my high school years, I finally found one really good friend and we remained close for many years. I talked to this particular friend about most (if not all) of my life issues for the duration of our friendship. Alas, as this friend lived in the East Coast, distance and life in general spelled the end of this particular friendship.
Unlike my younger days, I had met some other friends throughout my college years and many of them remain my friends today. These friends are usually the first ones I go to and discuss my life issues with. As I have grown up and matured, I realized I don't need to talk to my friends about "every thing" that happens in my life.
However, as I have matured, I have realized that I don't have to just rely on my "close friends" for perspective on things. I am fortunate to have a HUGE circle of people to draw from. I can draw on my fellow basketball players or officials for perspective on things. In fact, tonight I officiated some basketball games with a fellow official who had been laid off in January. That was definitely a topic of discussion because of my recent layoff.
Last night, I spent a good amount of time talking to the girlfriend of one of the guys I play basketball with. She's quite a few years younger than me but awfully mature and we had some nice discussions over a few different topics.
My friends like to make fun of me in the fact that I "talk a lot". There is some element of truth to this as I do like talking to my friends on the phone. What some of my friends haven't seen is that I just don't talk to "shoot the breeze". I have realized I have a natural curiosity over many things and I can discuss almost any topic under the sun.
So while my close friends will remain my close friends, I am 100% open to talking to others about anything they want to talk about or if something catches my fancy. It's actually quite refreshing!
Toward the end of my high school years, I finally found one really good friend and we remained close for many years. I talked to this particular friend about most (if not all) of my life issues for the duration of our friendship. Alas, as this friend lived in the East Coast, distance and life in general spelled the end of this particular friendship.
Unlike my younger days, I had met some other friends throughout my college years and many of them remain my friends today. These friends are usually the first ones I go to and discuss my life issues with. As I have grown up and matured, I realized I don't need to talk to my friends about "every thing" that happens in my life.
However, as I have matured, I have realized that I don't have to just rely on my "close friends" for perspective on things. I am fortunate to have a HUGE circle of people to draw from. I can draw on my fellow basketball players or officials for perspective on things. In fact, tonight I officiated some basketball games with a fellow official who had been laid off in January. That was definitely a topic of discussion because of my recent layoff.
Last night, I spent a good amount of time talking to the girlfriend of one of the guys I play basketball with. She's quite a few years younger than me but awfully mature and we had some nice discussions over a few different topics.
My friends like to make fun of me in the fact that I "talk a lot". There is some element of truth to this as I do like talking to my friends on the phone. What some of my friends haven't seen is that I just don't talk to "shoot the breeze". I have realized I have a natural curiosity over many things and I can discuss almost any topic under the sun.
So while my close friends will remain my close friends, I am 100% open to talking to others about anything they want to talk about or if something catches my fancy. It's actually quite refreshing!
Sunday, April 10, 2011
A Different Level Of Basketball......
Today concluded a super busy weekend for me. I formed a team to play in a Easter basketball tournament and we played two games Saturday and two games Sunday. In addition, I met up some friends for dinner after the tournament Saturday and I attended an NBA game after the tournament on Sunday.
Overall, I felt the tournament was a success. My team consisted of two separate groups of people who I played with previously and we meshed together pretty well. We won two games and lost two games to finish in 3rd place.
My team was really a middle of the road team in this tourney and it was reflected in the games we won, the games we lost and how we finished. My team had plenty of guys who have played league basketball before but not at a super high level. We also had a couple of guys who didn't play much organized basketball before but we were able to make up for it.
In first game we won Saturday, we beat an older but somewhat inexperienced team. This team was pretty tough inside but struggled with their shots and our team played solidly enough to pull off the win. In the second game we won today, we played a young and inexperienced team. My team didn't play particularly well but had enough in the tank to knock off the young kids.
However, the two losses reflected many of my team's weaknesses. In our first loss on Saturday, we played some early to mid 20's guys who just ran circles around my team offensively and defensively. Their youth and athleticism was just too much of our team to overcome.
In our second loss this afternoon, we played a mixed team with vets (over 35), guys in their prime (25 to 30) and young kids. The story of this game? Defense. The mixed team came out in their man to man defense and suffocated my team. We were just not used to the level of defense that was being played. The older guys used their experience to clog all our passing lanes and contested all of our shots. The younger guys took advantage of our tired legs on offense. This was a tough game and showed why defense is so important in basketball.
In both cases, if my team had played more together and got more time to gel, we might have a better chance against the more organized teams. Alas, my team was just playing on the fly and that was why we struggled against the better teams. As it turned out, the two teams we lost to this weekend ended up playing the championship with the mixed team beating the young kids in overtime.
My days of competitive basketball are winding down but it was fun play in the tournament with my team.
Overall, I felt the tournament was a success. My team consisted of two separate groups of people who I played with previously and we meshed together pretty well. We won two games and lost two games to finish in 3rd place.
My team was really a middle of the road team in this tourney and it was reflected in the games we won, the games we lost and how we finished. My team had plenty of guys who have played league basketball before but not at a super high level. We also had a couple of guys who didn't play much organized basketball before but we were able to make up for it.
In first game we won Saturday, we beat an older but somewhat inexperienced team. This team was pretty tough inside but struggled with their shots and our team played solidly enough to pull off the win. In the second game we won today, we played a young and inexperienced team. My team didn't play particularly well but had enough in the tank to knock off the young kids.
However, the two losses reflected many of my team's weaknesses. In our first loss on Saturday, we played some early to mid 20's guys who just ran circles around my team offensively and defensively. Their youth and athleticism was just too much of our team to overcome.
In our second loss this afternoon, we played a mixed team with vets (over 35), guys in their prime (25 to 30) and young kids. The story of this game? Defense. The mixed team came out in their man to man defense and suffocated my team. We were just not used to the level of defense that was being played. The older guys used their experience to clog all our passing lanes and contested all of our shots. The younger guys took advantage of our tired legs on offense. This was a tough game and showed why defense is so important in basketball.
In both cases, if my team had played more together and got more time to gel, we might have a better chance against the more organized teams. Alas, my team was just playing on the fly and that was why we struggled against the better teams. As it turned out, the two teams we lost to this weekend ended up playing the championship with the mixed team beating the young kids in overtime.
My days of competitive basketball are winding down but it was fun play in the tournament with my team.
Friday, April 08, 2011
Quote Of The Day
"If you're on the path you're meant to be on, everything falls into place; the Universe is telling you that. If you are not on the right path, you will experience roadblocks all along the way, and this is also the Universe telling you to stop, look, and ask if this is where you are supposed to be."
— James Van Praagh
This quote was something I shared with a friend a while back. With my layoff, I was thinking about this a bit. The layoff is obviously a rather large roadblock. So while I am poking around for job leads related to what I've been doing, I am taking some time to think about the distant future and see if the "Universe" / "God" / "Whatever suits you" has plans for me.
I'll let you know when I figure out what my plans are!
— James Van Praagh
This quote was something I shared with a friend a while back. With my layoff, I was thinking about this a bit. The layoff is obviously a rather large roadblock. So while I am poking around for job leads related to what I've been doing, I am taking some time to think about the distant future and see if the "Universe" / "God" / "Whatever suits you" has plans for me.
I'll let you know when I figure out what my plans are!
Thursday, April 07, 2011
The Layoff Aftermath
It's a late Wednesday evening / Thursday morning as I write this. It will be a week since I unexpectedly got laid off from my job. While the title of this posting makes it sound like something bad or bad happened after my layoff, in reality NOTHING earth shattering happened.
I didn't jump off a cliff, bang my head against a wall or curse out my luck, bosses or anything else for that matter. I talked about things with a few people last Thursday. I wasn't too emotional and was pretty rational trying to figure out what exactly happened.
The next day was my birthday and I spent my day relaxing. I had lunch with my parents and went shopping at the local mall for a while before going home to rest for a bit. I then headed out to dinner / dessert with friends and had a good time. While my layoff was discussed, I didn't express my bitterness and actually was my normal jovial self.
Saturday, I spent the day officiating basketball before going to dinner with another group of friends for another birthday celebration. This time, the celebration was for two other folks plus me. Once again the layoff was discussed but not too long.
Monday, I replied back to a ton of emails from my former co-workers who expressed disbelief at my layoff and gave me some best wishes. I also took care of submitting my unemployment papers as well. Though I was not intending to job hunt, I ran across some job postings so I reviewed them as well.
Tuesday, I spent time reviewing my severance papers and understanding what I was signing. I have to return the papers in the next couple of days to complete from departure from my company.
Wednesday, I actually started the job hunt by talking to a recruiter. The recruiter actually had two leads for jobs and I got another email later with another lead. Whether they will come to fruition is another story but it's good to see I have some options.
As Thursday dawns, everything is all positive on my end. I left my job last week in a state of disbelief. In the week sense, I've gotten over it and moved on. Sometimes when these roadblocks occur, it is life telling you that you should going another direction. What that direction is I don't know 100% yet.
However, I am in the process of figuring it out and will take everyone once I decide which way I am going. :)
I didn't jump off a cliff, bang my head against a wall or curse out my luck, bosses or anything else for that matter. I talked about things with a few people last Thursday. I wasn't too emotional and was pretty rational trying to figure out what exactly happened.
The next day was my birthday and I spent my day relaxing. I had lunch with my parents and went shopping at the local mall for a while before going home to rest for a bit. I then headed out to dinner / dessert with friends and had a good time. While my layoff was discussed, I didn't express my bitterness and actually was my normal jovial self.
Saturday, I spent the day officiating basketball before going to dinner with another group of friends for another birthday celebration. This time, the celebration was for two other folks plus me. Once again the layoff was discussed but not too long.
Monday, I replied back to a ton of emails from my former co-workers who expressed disbelief at my layoff and gave me some best wishes. I also took care of submitting my unemployment papers as well. Though I was not intending to job hunt, I ran across some job postings so I reviewed them as well.
Tuesday, I spent time reviewing my severance papers and understanding what I was signing. I have to return the papers in the next couple of days to complete from departure from my company.
Wednesday, I actually started the job hunt by talking to a recruiter. The recruiter actually had two leads for jobs and I got another email later with another lead. Whether they will come to fruition is another story but it's good to see I have some options.
As Thursday dawns, everything is all positive on my end. I left my job last week in a state of disbelief. In the week sense, I've gotten over it and moved on. Sometimes when these roadblocks occur, it is life telling you that you should going another direction. What that direction is I don't know 100% yet.
However, I am in the process of figuring it out and will take everyone once I decide which way I am going. :)
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