Thursday, June 16, 2011

I Don't Wanna Grow Up, I'm a Toys R Us Kid......but eventually you have to......

For those of us who grew up in the 1980's, there are plenty of commercial and other catch phrases that we remember:

Wendy's - "Where's The Beef?"
McDonald's - "You Deserve a Break Today"
Grey Poupon Mustard - "Pardon Me, Would You Have Any Grey Poupon?"
Nike - "Just Do It"
Toys R Us - "I Don't Wanna Grow Up, I'm a Toys R Us Kid......."

In the past few weeks, I ran into some personal struggles.  In thinking about those struggles, the first thing that came to my mind was that I was a "Toys R Us Kid".   Read on to see why......

Some of my struggles may have been indirectly due to the following things happening all within the span of a few weeks in April:

Job Lay Off / Pondering the future for jobs / school
Traffic Ticket
Owed IRS Taxes

But most importantly,  I believe the one that had the greatest impact on me was when my mom got Bell's Palsy.  While Bell's Palsy is not a serious thing (fortunately),  my mom was scared and I think it scared me too.  For the first time, I realized that my parents will not always be there.  I think that affected me more than I realized and unintentionally caused myself some undue stress as I pondered an uncertain future.

My recent struggles has woken me up to how much of a comfortable and even maybe sheltered life I have lived.   For all intensive purposes, I have almost been living the "Toys R Us Kid" lifestyle.  I go to work, go have fun and come home with parents around to take care of everything at home.

My recent stress had come with the realization that this lifestyle will not always be there and that eventually I will have to grow up.   In many ways, this is an uncomfortable feeling.   It is very difficult to change how you've lived for so many years.

Fortunately for me, I've had plenty of support as I go through this and it has been suggested that I draw up some daily, short term and long term plans for my future.  I have put together a short list with some immediate things I want to do.  I've begun some of these things and begin the self improvement plan that will eventually change me from a "kid" (figuratively) into a more "mature adult".

As I write this, there is a some sadness in me.  I think it's because it feels like a graduation of sorts.  When we've graduated at every level of school, there is happiness at the accomplishment.  However, there is also sadness as you leave behind the school, friends and other memories of your years.   I am sad because I've enjoyed my life for many years and it's tough to change.  Yet, it is a necessary change that will lead to bigger and better things.

This is definitely an unusual blog post for me but I appreciate people reading.   In many ways, it is a way to let out a bit of the struggles I have been facing in recent weeks.

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