Seeing People Struggle Or Suffer Sucks

At some point this weekend, I was going to blog about how "Basketball Doesn't Define Me".  I may still get to this topic eventually but I am going to talk about something else tonight.

Last week, I blogged about a friend of mine being in the hospital.  Today, three friends and I decided to make another visit to the hospital.   One friend was there an hour and a half ahead of me.  After I arrived, the other two people arrived about 15 minutes afterward.

The good news is our hospitalized friend seemed improved.  As like last time, she was very mentally sharp.  However, she still had a breathing apparatus so speaking was a bit forced.  Overall, she seemed to be in decent spirits.  I'm sure having three people visit was a positive as well.

At some point during the visit, we had a few hospital staff flow through including the attending physician.  The physician was a nice gentleman and greeted us and our friend.  The physician stated that he was happy that our friend had made a lot of improvements in the past few weeks.

However, the physician noted that there were still some things our friend needed to do to get better.  Maybe the thought of the work that lay ahead was daunting and frustrating and our friend started to cry.      I don't know how my other friends were reacting but it was tough to see this.  Even though I was the only guy, I was tempted to cry.

Our friend eventually did settle down and we all chatted for a while longer.  Eventually, we all had to leave and our friend was crying once again.  We all reassured our friend that we would be back.

In the past six months or so, I've learned that I hate seeing people suffer.  From friends to family, I've done my best to help people's struggles.   Though I am reluctant to talk about it publicly, the fact is my mom has had struggles with memory in the past year.  I've taken on a lot of responsibility to try to help her out.

There is another friend of mine that I hang out with every now and then and talk with frequently.  The friend accidentally hurt themselves a few months ago which derailed some of our plans.  I know they were frustrated so I visited the friend once and spent a lot of time talking on the phone.   My friend did the same for me a few years ago so this was not a problem for us.

Unfortunately, there's a not a lot I can do for my hospitalized friend right now except to visit.  My friends and I have bounced some ideas around to get some gifts but not sure if they are practical at this point.

The main point is that seeing people struggle or suffer is not fun.  However, if there is a lesson here, it is that I need to appreciate what I have AND also help others who may not be as fortunate.

Basketball Is Important But Family Is Most Important Of All

I've been involved playing and coaching basketball for over 20+ years.  I've been on championship teams and winless teams.  I've watched some of my teams win by 30 and also lose by 30.  So you can say that I've seen just a lot of basketball related things over the years.

This week, something happened which I had never seen before though.  A teammate of mine that is playing with me on a summer league basketball team told me they had to leave the team to return home for some family things they needed to address.   To put it into context, the teammate is not just departing the team but also quitting their job to move back home.  The reason for departing is very personal and I won't repeat the reason here.

Knowing the reason why the teammate had to move, I understood why the decision was made.  Out of many people, I was probably one who understood just how tough this decision was.  This teammate is a lot like me.  They love basketball and it's their way of having fun and getting away from the stresses of life. Having to give basketball up (at least here is this area) is a tough choice but one that had to be done.

However, this move illustrates just how important FAMILY is in the overall scheme of things.  All of us have our hobbies and it's great that we can enjoy them.  But family trumps everything and sacrifices have to made.  I've been learning this lesson in recent months.  Due to some personal family things I've had to deal with, there's been some sacrifices that I've done on my part.

Our team had a miserable game tonight as we lost by 30.  While I wasn't too thrilled with the team's performance, I talked to my teammate for a while after the game.    The game was forgotten as I let them talk a bit about their situation plus I offered my thoughts and support for them.

To be honest, I am being very generic here in calling this person a "teammate" but I now consider them a friend.  We haven't know each other that long but we've had a lot of experiences together, especially our Spring Basketball league championship that we won back in May.

This teammate / friend isn't leaving just yet so this isn't a farewell.   But as I blogged back in May, the championship gave us some lifetime connections.   So even if this friend has to depart from us for now, I am certain I will see them again in the future.

My Holiday Tradition: DONATE!

Some years ago, the company I was working for at the time had a Christmas / Holiday toy donation program.   Employees would donate toys and the company would give them to local charities or programs like Toys For Tots.  I really took to this program because less fortunate families and/or kids struggle just to have a home, food or other basic necessities.  Families can't just afford to purchase toys or other fun things for their kids.

That year, I made an effort to purchase some toys for donation.  As I was shopping, another idea came to mind.  Rather than purchase ONE toy, I purchased two toys.  One toy for a boy and one toy for a girl.  I figured it would be fair to purchase one of both genders.

I continued this tradition until I left the company a few years later.  My last couple of companies don't have any official toy donation programs.  So for a couple of years, I purchased toys and donated them at malls or other locations that need donations.  Last year, I just made a monetary donation to the local Toys For Tots programs.   This year, as I was at a mall, I saw a Toys For Tots donation both, I went back to purchasing two toys again.

It's a small way to contribute back to the community during a time where there are many families that are struggling.  When kids are happy, I believe that will help the family feel better overall even if their circumstances haven't completely changed.

For those who want to make a difference this and any other holiday season, consider making a donation to a charity that you support.